Teaser page for coparenting communication guidelines

ADResolution Tuesday Helps Coparents Communicate Better as a Way to Take Care of Your Mental Health

Coparenting can be very stressful. On this ADResolution Tuesday, I want to offer a way you can take care of your mental health when coparenting.

The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) members are judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals dedicated to helping families work together in the best interest of the children.

Coparents working together with school aged children.

They have developed guidelines and best practices you can use when communicating with your coparent.

For example,

  • In providing information to your coparent, make sure to ACT (accurate, complete, timely).
  • If unsure if the other parent is entitled to information then follow the golden rule. Give information that you would like to have in the situation.
  • Be respectful when communication. This means no name calling, no nicknames, and no abusive language.

Comment below or message me to receive a copy of the guidelines.

Family Friday

helps parents understand why their children trigger them

I came across this on Pinterest and thought it was really helpful.

Sharing Children’s Bill of Rights on Family Friday

Previously, I shared Brené Brown’s handout The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto.

Today, I think it is equally important to share the Children’s Bill of Rights.

I have compiled this list from a few resources, including

I hope these two handouts can help you be more thoughtful about how you parent. It is a tough job and there is no “one” parenting manual/book that is right for everyone. At the same time, these core values can help guide you while also taking into consideration your personality and the personality of your child.

Please feel free to reach out if you need additional help or guidance.

At Relationship Solutions Center, P.C. our mission is to Transform Relationships From the Inside Out.

RSC logo

Mental Health Monday talks about developing a sense of self-worth and positive self-esteem

A common question I am asked is “how do we develop our sense of self-worth and a positive self-esteem?”

From my perspective, our self-worth begins to form in infancy.  As a newborn, we sense our value through basic caretaking – keep me fed and keep me comfortable.  When we show delight in children through skin-to-skin contact, replication of sounds (playing), and learning how to interpret the early “talking” of the various cries, babies feel our love and connection.

There are countless ways we can continue to show children they are valuable, worthy, and loveable as they grow.  We start with the basic needs and pay attention to many other needs as infants become, toddlers who then become preschoolers, and school-aged children.  Those school-aged kids keep on growing until they are in middle school or junior high ending up in high school.  (Yes, some follow that up with further education, but for simplicity’s sake, you will hopefully, allow me a bit of leeway. 😊)

The time with “good enough” adults lays our foundation
and we also hope children find other relationships that help them
feel that same sense of belonging, connectedness, value, and trust.

As peers become a bigger influence and children begin to experience disappointment and hurt, parents can help their children learn to identify, understand, and value their emotions.  Parents will continue to be that “safe space” kids can come back to no matter how old they are.  They will also teach their children how to identify, express, and then manage their emotions.  How to problem-solve and advocate for themselves.  The art of forgiveness, while learning how to accept feedback, use it appropriately and move past the words and actions that come to us with the intention of harm. 

Teaching children it is okay to hurt because they can use those experiences to learn and grow.  Helping them see the difference between hurt and harm.  Reenforcing the value and respect that has been taught along the path of life.

While our healthy and good-enough parents will always be our safe space, we strive for the independence to live life as healthy adults.  We will continue to choose people who will find joy in us, see the value, give the respect, maintain the connection, and demonstrate love and affection.

And this, my friends, is the journey of positive self-esteem that includes self-worth and value in ourselves, as well as the desire to continue to grow and learn.

For those of you who had parents who were unable to take you along this path, or who had parents who experienced bumps in the road taking you all off track, detours, dead ends, and accidents, YOU are in the driver’s seat now.  You can choose your path and find your value and self-worth and love.

As E.E. Cummings so eloquently stated,

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

Finding that space on your own, circles back to those adult relationships you find, create, and bring into your life.  Friends and mentors can help you connect to that sacred space of belongingness and love.  Sometimes, you would benefit from working with a good psychologist or therapist.

If you find yourself struggling and uncertain, please feel free to reach out.  Remember, Relationship Solutions Center focuses on

creating closeness and transforming relationships from the inside out.

It’s Family Friday!

I was with a client earlier this week.  This client truly suffered in childhood and was raised in a toxic, unhealthy home.  There was significant emotional and psychological abuse, leading to a sense of self-worth that their only role in life is to take care of others. 

This brought them to me because this view of themself contributed to marrying someone who was also emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive.  The spouse convinced them they had a personality disorder, that all the problems they faced were their fault and made it impossible for my client to have access to significant financial resources.

The other day, as we talked about the abuse growing up, I realized they had no sense of what healthy parenting involved.  Because of this, they also were unsure of what healthy adult friendships and romantic relationships involved.

As we ended the session, it made me think about Family Friday.  I want to help people understand what healthy parenting involves.  This is the cornerstone of both physical and mental health.

Since my thoughts are racing, I am going to take time to put some information together.  In the meantime, I do want to share the Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto Brené Brown wrote in 2012.  It is a good starting point.

Brené Brown shares her beliefs about what children should expect from their parents.
Wholehearted Parenting by Brené Brown

I hope this gets you thinking.  Feel free to comment below with your thoughts about what children deserve and have the right to expect from their parents.

Happy New Year

and I hope you enjoy spending relaxing, fun, quality time with your family!

Thank you for reading my blog. Please click “like” and share on your Social Media platforms. I also encourage you to reach out to me directly if you would like to talk further or if you have any questions. General comments are certainly welcome on this blog or if you got here through Facebook or LinkedIn.