Getting the Word Out About Collaborative Divorce

Who are all these people on Relationship Solutions Center website?

Along with some of my collaborative colleagues, I have put an ad in the Illinois Psychological Association (IPA) quarterly newsletter that was published and distributed on Friday, April 16th.

Our hope is to educate psychologists about the benefits of collaborative divorce. As you know, or can imagine, psychologists are right there with folks as they make the difficult decision about the future of their relationship. While my general view is to work toward improving a relationship, there are times it is best for a couple (or throuple) to go their separate ways.

How does Dr. Irgang work with folks who are struggling in their relationships?

My guide is always safety first. If there is evidence of domestic violence, I help the victim create a safe space.

Outside of safety, my goal is to help change happen. I have a lot of thoughts about change, but most important in these situations is to

try to create change if both people are willing, capable and ready to change.

(a frequent quote by Dr. Irgang)

When a person works to create change, yet still feels unhappy or dissatisfied, the best solution for them might be divorce.

What if change doesn’t happen?

In this case, I truly feel Collaborative Divorce is the best option. Collaborative Divorce allows couples to:

  • Maintain control of the decisions and process
  • Allows the ability to think outside the box, while respecting statutes/state laws
  • Keeps the process private and out of court (until the final papers are ready)
  • Get the necessary help managing emotions (particularly during negotiations), improve conflict resolution skills and improve communication. This is especially crucial if you have children together. Even if you don’t have children together, the skills you will learn can help in other relationships – both personal and professional.

If you are thinking about, or are ready to transition to this next stage of your life, please reach out to myself or one of my colleagues. We are happy to explain the process in more detail. We are there for you every step of the way!

Answering a reader’s question

Progress Pride Flag

I recently had someone ask why I have been sharing articles about polyamory and kink.

For those who do not know, one of my areas of specialty includes working with folks who fall anywhere in the spectrum of “alternative sexuality.” Sexuality is broken down to include anatomical sex

  • anatomical sex
  • gender identification (GLBTQIA+)
  • gender expression
  • sexual orientation
  • relationship structures & styles (monogamy or non-monogamy; consensual power exchange)
  • sexual attraction
  • sexual activities

As you can see, there are several areas of sexuality where a person can identify as “non-traditional” or “alternative.” While a person’s mental health is not considered unhealthy just because they fall somewhere along the alternative spectrum, working with a sensitive and aware psychologist is often a preference as it can play a role in the issues and concerns brought into therapy.

So, I have been posting information to educate all of you, destigmatize alternative sexuality, and address concerns specific to folks in these communities.

While there is not one all-inclusive pride flag, I have found 3 that encapsulate the possibilities in terms of sexuality and I’m including them here. I can explain the meaning of each flag in a separate post if you are interested.

BDSM Pride Flag

Polyamory Pride Flag