What am I celebrating on the 4th of July?

and a caution about fireworks

Here in Illinois, we have reached Stage 4 in the Restore Illinois plan.  People feel free, rather than imprisoned and there is a level of excitement that has not existed for months. I can feel a buzz in the air as folks make plans reconnect with friends and family.

Yet, I’m wondering if this excitement means we have lost touch with the original meaning of the 4th of July.

We fought to have a voice. We fought for independence. And we fought for equality

How many of us remember the aspirations outlined in the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence? 

We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; that to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

I am particularly struck by the statement “all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their creator.”

I can’t help but think that our collective creator, whomever or whatever that may be to you, meant “men” to be an all-inclusive word. Yet, we know our country was also founded by and through oppression.

I, like many of you, experience dissonance when I think about our values compared to our history, our legacy.

All people hold value and are valuable. We are, at the core, the same. We all strive for connection.  It gives meaning to our lives and helps us find our place.  Doesn’t that mean we’re equal? Doesn’t this mean we deserve opportunities on an equal basis?

The fact that some continue to answer “no” means we must keep working and evolving individually and collectively. We need to continue to honor and fight for that freedom and equality. Fight the shame that comes with racism (and all the “isms”).

Become an agent of change for equality.

Over the weekend I am going to be that agent by reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. I also commit to being an agent for change by watching movies and documentaries that shed light on issues of oppression.

By diving into my discomfort, and holding myself accountable for my racist thoughts and actions, I hope to open that door for you. I invite you to join me on this journey of self-reflection and change.

How will you be an agent of change?

What risks are you willing to take?

Before I go, I do feel it is important to remind everyone to be aware of our soldiers this 4th of July weekend.  While many typically enjoy amazing fireworks shows and some partake in personal fireworks, please remember the sounds of fireworks is often very triggering for our soldiers.  Please be considerate of our heroes, who fight for our independence, and re-think using fireworks.  Thank you!

Loving Yourself this Valentine’s Day

http://www.rscil.com

This week can trigger a lot of sadness for those without a romantic partner.

Hearts are everywhere this week.  For many, this is a time of joy and celebration of a special someone in their lives.  At the same time, there are many for whom this time of year brings sadness.

With the focus on romance, women and men without a special someone can feel lonely, sad and even worthless.  So, I’d like to talk about ways to deal with those difficult emotions.

How can you experience the emotions and then manage them in a healthy way?  Some choose to:

Arrange an alternate celebration with single friends OR

You could do something to celebrate self-love.

How do you like to pamper yourself?  Do you like to:

  • Spend time outdoors at a favorite location?
  • Explore something new?
  • Schedule some type of pampering, such as a massage or mani/pedi?
  • Go out for a nice meal?

I have found making sure to do something outside of the house is imperative. 

Did you know sitting at home generally leads to focusing on the negative thoughts.

If you need help generating ideas or find you are struggling and help in any way, please feel free to contact me.  There is a contact form on the site or you can email (drirgang@rscil.com) or call me (630.912.2908) directly.

10 TIps to Managing Holiday Stress - Relationship Solution Center

10 Tips for Managing Your Stress and Depression During the Holidays

  1. 1.Recognize what triggers stress for you and how you handle stress.
  2. If changes are necessary, change one behavior at a time.
  3. Identify how you would like to honor yourself, friends & family during the season.
  4. Prioritize and organize.
  5. Let others help plan and organize activities.
  6. Set a spending limit.
  7. Take care of yourself.
  8. Considering taking care of others by volunteering.
  9. Curb your drinking since it increases feelings of depression.
  10. Seek support from friends and family if needed.

If these tips do not work for you, or if you feel that your depression and/or anxiety is not just related to the holiday season, please contact a local professional for assistance.