Happy Metamour Day!

Congratulations to Nicole Kay with Dark Rose Press,  and the winner of the Metamour Day 2022 Graphic contest! 

Special thanks to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) for running the contest and their continued support of folks who want to express their sexual freedom in multiple ways.

If you are still looking for a card for your metamour, check out NCSF’s page featuring cards made by Anna D. Hirsch of PositivelyPolyAnna.

There are also several great articles explaining metamours and how polyamory can work.

Family Friday

helps parents understand why their children trigger them

I came across this on Pinterest and thought it was really helpful.

Thursday Thoughts on Mental Illness

Shares an announcement with you

Good morning everyone,

I am excited to announce a new goal for Relationship Solutions Center, P.C. this year.

As a practice, RSC will be planning and participating in more national and international events in 2022.

The first event going on the calendar is a walk to support

NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association)

on April 23rd.

Here is more information according to the NEDA website,

What is a NEDA Walk?

Quickly growing since 2009, NEDA Walks now bring together over 25,000 people of all ages and backgrounds to fight eating disorders.

NEDA Walks are inspirational, community-building events where passionate walkers raise money to fund eating disorders education, prevention, and support, as well as advocacy and research initiatives. NEDA Walks are the largest eating disorders awareness events in the nation. They are also a celebration of hope and strength, filled with body-positive activities, motivational guest speakers, and a short walk to symbolize unity in the fight against eating disorders.

Furthermore, NEDA Walks create a safe and supportive space where no one will feel alone in their battle. It seems as though everybody knows somebody who’s been affected by an eating disorder – so everybody is invited to walk with us! Together, we’ll stand up to stigma and send the message that recovery is possible.

Why do we walk?

Eating disorders are a serious illnesses that affect millions of individuals and their families every day. Despite their increasing prevalence, eating disorders receive less than $1 in research funds per affected person, compared to an average of $70 for other major mental illnesses. Eating disorders are widely misunderstood illnesses and support options are often inaccessible. As a result, too many people are left feeling helpless, hopeless, and frightened – this is why we walk. NEDA Walks are raising critical funds, restoring hope, and changing the conversation surrounding eating disorders.

As the leading U.S. nonprofit supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders, NEDA serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures, and access to quality care. The funds you raise through NEDA Walks put vital resources into the hands of those in need. With every dollar you raise, we are one step closer to our shared vision of a world without eating disorders.

Personally, I have had at least two family members I am aware of who have struggled with eating disorders.  Professionally, I have also seen folks struggling with eating disorders, as well as severe emotional eating problems.

As I find other events I can participate in, I will let you know.  I welcome your questions, and certainly your potential desire to support various organizations as I become aware of national and international mental health and mental illness related events.

ADResolution Tuesday

Be on the lookout for more information about this logo and how it applies to Collaborative Divorce.

Do you have any guesses? Let me know and your will be entered into a raffle for a free gift from Relationship Solutions Center, P.C.!

Mental Health Monday

Shares Grounding Techniques

Were you lucky enough to be a client of mine in the past few months? If so, you received this tool box as a gift. I hope you have continued to build upon those initial strategies we determined work for you and you find the tool box helpful.

The intention of the tool box is two-fold.

  • First, to have a physical reminder of your coping strategies. Over the past 12+ months, I have seen most people I know, personally and professionally, have been forgetting they have available strategies to help manage their difficult emotions in the moment. When strong emotions are triggered, it is difficult to think and remember; therefore, the physicality of the tool box serves as a grounding technique and reminder to look inside.
  • Second, we need reminders to bring joy into our lives. It can become easy to focus on the tasks and stressors in our daily lives, which means we forget to do or bring joy into our lives.

There is only one box because what we recognize as coping strategies in the moment are also ways to bring joy preventively.

I’ve created a handout of Grounding Techniques you can add to your tool box. These are particularly helpful for dealing with distressing thoughts and feelings. In particular, they are helpful for folks who have PTSD, self-harm urges, traumatic memories, and who might dissociate. Grounding techniques have also been found to help anxiety and substance use disorders.

If you have any questions or comments, I would love to hear from you. Also, if you were not a client of mine, don’t worry. You can contact me about purchasing a tool box.

Have a great day!

Sexuality defined

As I was trying to decide what I would write about this week for Sexuality Sunday, Julie Andrews as Maria in The Sound of Music (one of my all time favorite movies) started singing “Let’s start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start.”

I decided to take her advice after realizing I have never actually defined sexuality and what it covers.  

Sexuality covers biological sex, gender identity,

gender expression, and attraction (orientation).

The Gender Unicorn
Biological sex aka gender assigned at birth

Is defined as the chromosomes, hormones, and sex organs identifiable at birth.  These include:

  •             Female – having a vagina and clitoris
  •             Male – having a penis and testes
  •             Intersex – having both female and male sex organs
Gender identity

Is defined as how a person thinks about themselves and feels internally.  These include:

  • Female
  • Male
  • Transgender
  • Non-binary
Gender expression

Is defined as how a person chooses to express or demonstrate their gender identity.  This can include feminine, masculine, and non-binary.

Attraction aka orientation

Who a person is emotionally, physically, romantically and/or spiritually attracted to in expressing feelings of affection and sexually.

Other than biological sex, there are many ways to label, explain and understand the various aspects of sexuality.  I will dive deeper into these in future blogs as it can be a lot of information.

Sharing Children’s Bill of Rights on Family Friday

Previously, I shared Brené Brown’s handout The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto.

Today, I think it is equally important to share the Children’s Bill of Rights.

I have compiled this list from a few resources, including

I hope these two handouts can help you be more thoughtful about how you parent. It is a tough job and there is no “one” parenting manual/book that is right for everyone. At the same time, these core values can help guide you while also taking into consideration your personality and the personality of your child.

Please feel free to reach out if you need additional help or guidance.

At Relationship Solutions Center, P.C. our mission is to Transform Relationships From the Inside Out.

RSC logo

Thursday Thoughts on Mental Illness shares more information about Depression

Back in December, I promised to share information about the remaining four types of Depression.

Phew, that was a long time ago.  LOL  I try to practice what I preach and my time management has been a bit off.

As a reminder, in the last post of Thursday Thoughts on Mental Illness I discussed Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, Major Depression Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia), and Premenstrual Disorder.

That brings us to:

Substance/Medication-Induced Depressive Disorder

This diagnosis applies when depression developed during or soon after intoxication, withdrawal, or exposure to a substance or medication.  In these situations, there needs to be evidence the Depression cannot be attributed to a non-substance related situation.

Depressive Disorder Due to Another Medical Condition

This diagnosis is used when depression is specifically caused by the physiological effects of another medical condition.  Common medical conditions include Huntington’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, a stroke, or a TBI (traumatic brain injury).

Other Specified Depressive Disorder

This diagnosis is used when there are several symptoms of depression that cause impairment in social, occupational/school, or other critical areas of functioning but there are not enough symptoms to qualify for one of the other diagnoses in the Depression category.

Unspecified Depressive Disorder

This is similar to other specified depressive disorder, yet the clinician might not have enough information and wants to gather more information before giving another diagnosis.

I just realized it would be helpful to talk about why we use diagnoses as a profession.  I’ll share my understanding and thoughts with you next time on Thursday Thoughts on Mental Illness.

Transforming Relationships From the Inside Out

Relationship Wisdom Wednesday talks about assumptions

In this past week, there has been a common theme of communication problems with the couples with which I am working.  Specifically, making assumptions.

Many of you have likely heard the saying, don’t make assumptions because they make an

                        ASS out of U and ME.

It can be a good guideline, though not completely bad or avoidable.  I usually tell folks there are some safe assumptions in relationships.  For example, if you are out to eat and a family member is in the bathroom when the server takes drink orders, and if you know that person’s usual drink, you can safely assume ordering that drink for them would be okay.

A common mistake I have seen this week, and over the years, is that folks believe they know what a person is thinking or means by their words and/or actions.  Whether you know someone for 6 months, 6 years, or 6 decades, there is no guarantee your assumptions are correct.

Best practice is to ask for clarification.

Some ways to do this include:

  •             I think I heard you say…., is this correct?
  •             The story in my head is…., is this correct?
  •             My assumption is…., is this correct?

Notice the commonalities between these examples is two-fold.  First, speaking from the first-person perspective.  You are sharing your thoughts.  Second, the double-checking.  Ask for validation of your perspective while also giving the second person a chance to correct your assumption.

The first part of communication is being a good listener.  Being a good listener means you must make sure you hear and process the information being shared correctly.

Try to engage with others with an open mind and approach with curiosity. Stay tuned for more thoughts about communication on Relationship Wisdom Wednesdays.

creating closeness and transforming relationships from the inside out.