Mental Health Monday focuses on positivity

So often we focus on the negative. It’s easy to do. The negative causes hurt and pain. To counteract the negative, we have to train ourselves to focus on the positive.

Young boy wearing a black shirt pointing to a cup that says "See the good."

We can start taking care of our mental health by answering these questions:

  1. What do people say you are really good at?
  2. What’s working in your life?
  3. What do you think you’re good at?
  4. What do you enjoy doing?
  5. What’s important to you?
  6. What are you looking forward to in the next two to three weeks?
  7. What are you proud of?

Hopefully, these are easy questions for you to answer. If they aren’t, it could simply mean you are stuck and could benefit from brainstorming with someone else.

It could also mean your mental health is suffering.

Whether you are feeling depressed, or suffer from low self-esteem, therapy can help. By working with a psychologist, we can help identify what is blocking you from being able to answer these questions, think about your values and goals, and decide how that could translate into living an authentic life that leads to an improvement in your mood.

If you have trouble answering these questions, contact us to schedule a time to talk. At Relationship Solutions Center, P.C. our goal is…

Relationship Solutions Center logo psychologist's hand reaching out to and holding your hand

Transforming Relationships From the Inside Out

Self-esteem Saturday is dedicated to Women’s History Month!

Hi everyone.  For this week’s Self-esteem Saturday, I thought it made sense to talk about Women’s History Month.  This is a month that highlights women and their contributions to family, politics, literature, all the forms of art, science, math, psychology, technology, and so much more.

Before we had Women’s History Month, the recognition of women was limited to International Women’s Day (March 8th) and in the U.S., Women’s History Week in Santa Rosa, California.  As the movement spread across the country, there was a call for national recognition.  In February 1980, President Jimmy Carter issued the first Presidential Proclamation declaring the week of March 8th, 1980 as National Women’s History Week. This continued until March 1987 when Congress passed additional resolutions requesting and authorizing the President to proclaim March of each year as Women’s History Month.  Since 1995, each president has issued this annual proclamation. 

The majority of the text in this blog comes from (https://www.womenshistory.org/womens-history/womens-history-month).  There are too many amazing resources to share here, but I encourage you to check out their events, videos, social media cards, find activities for children, to name a few.

This year’s theme is #BreakTheBias!

Imagine a gender equal world.
A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination.
A world that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive.
A world where difference is valued and celebrated.
Together we can forge women's equality.

Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias.

Individually, we're all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day.
We can break the bias in our communities.
We can break the bias in our workplaces.
We can break the bias in our schools, colleges and universities.
Together, we can all break the bias - on International Women's Day (IWD) and beyond.
Whether deliberate or unconscious, bias makes it difficult for women to move ahead. Knowing that bias exists isn’t enough, action is needed to level the playing field.
Are you in? Will you actively call out gender bias, discrimination and stereotyping each time you see it?
Will you help break the bias?

Cross your arms to show your solidarity!

Strike the IWD 2022 pose and share your #BreakTheBias image, video, resources, presentation or articles on social media using #IWD2022 #BreakTheBias to encourage further people to commit to helping forge an inclusive world.

                        Credit to https://www.internationalwomensday.com/Theme

It’s Family Friday!

I was with a client earlier this week.  This client truly suffered in childhood and was raised in a toxic, unhealthy home.  There was significant emotional and psychological abuse, leading to a sense of self-worth that their only role in life is to take care of others. 

This brought them to me because this view of themself contributed to marrying someone who was also emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive.  The spouse convinced them they had a personality disorder, that all the problems they faced were their fault and made it impossible for my client to have access to significant financial resources.

The other day, as we talked about the abuse growing up, I realized they had no sense of what healthy parenting involved.  Because of this, they also were unsure of what healthy adult friendships and romantic relationships involved.

As we ended the session, it made me think about Family Friday.  I want to help people understand what healthy parenting involves.  This is the cornerstone of both physical and mental health.

Since my thoughts are racing, I am going to take time to put some information together.  In the meantime, I do want to share the Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto Brené Brown wrote in 2012.  It is a good starting point.

Brené Brown shares her beliefs about what children should expect from their parents.
Wholehearted Parenting by Brené Brown

I hope this gets you thinking.  Feel free to comment below with your thoughts about what children deserve and have the right to expect from their parents.

Happy New Year

and I hope you enjoy spending relaxing, fun, quality time with your family!

Thank you for reading my blog. Please click “like” and share on your Social Media platforms. I also encourage you to reach out to me directly if you would like to talk further or if you have any questions. General comments are certainly welcome on this blog or if you got here through Facebook or LinkedIn.

What fills your love bank?

A love bank is how you feel connected, cared about and valued by others.

The concept of a LOVE BANK was first developed by Dr. William Harley in 1986. It is how you consciously or unconsciously keep track of how others treat you.

Like a bank that holds our money, making more deposits than withdrawals are one way to ensure you have successful, healthy relationships.

In evaluating your “account,” first evaluate if you are overdrawn and if the withdrawals tend to happen more often and/or are larger than your deposits.  You might need to work on your instincts and habits that consistently make withdrawals.

I have found it is important to know how deposits in your bank can be made so others do not have to guess or “mind read.”  Our emotional needs typically fall within 5 categories, or love languages, which were developed by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992.  They are:

  1. Words of affirmation – being encouraging, acknowledging positives, etc.
  2. Acts of service – helping in ways that are meaningful to the other person
  3. Receiving gifts – anything from a card up to something more extravagant
  4. Quality time – spending time together in ways that are meaningful to the other person
  5. Physical touch – showing physical affection

.

Over the years, I have found people tend to show their love in the ways they feel loved.  Therefore, it is crucial each person identifies specific behaviors within each category that make them feel loved.

For example, if you like to sit next to your partner on the couch but your partner wants their space, you might feel rejected.  Or, if you help your partner by researching something on the Internet and telling them what to do, while they want to make their own decision, this could lead to anger and resentment.

So…identify your love languages by taking this super simple test, https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/, come up with a list of at least 10 examples for each of your top categories and share it with others!

You will find you feel more connected, valued, and loved!

You ARE Worthy!

Brené Brown is such an inspiration to living authentically. As someone who also works to live authentically and believes in the power of stories, she is always an inspiration. Remember, you are worthy.

Loving Yourself this Valentine’s Day

http://www.rscil.com

This week can trigger a lot of sadness for those without a romantic partner.

Hearts are everywhere this week.  For many, this is a time of joy and celebration of a special someone in their lives.  At the same time, there are many for whom this time of year brings sadness.

With the focus on romance, women and men without a special someone can feel lonely, sad and even worthless.  So, I’d like to talk about ways to deal with those difficult emotions.

How can you experience the emotions and then manage them in a healthy way?  Some choose to:

Arrange an alternate celebration with single friends OR

You could do something to celebrate self-love.

How do you like to pamper yourself?  Do you like to:

  • Spend time outdoors at a favorite location?
  • Explore something new?
  • Schedule some type of pampering, such as a massage or mani/pedi?
  • Go out for a nice meal?

I have found making sure to do something outside of the house is imperative. 

Did you know sitting at home generally leads to focusing on the negative thoughts.

If you need help generating ideas or find you are struggling and help in any way, please feel free to contact me.  There is a contact form on the site or you can email (drirgang@rscil.com) or call me (630.912.2908) directly.