Do you have ADDITUDE?

No, not a sassy attitude!  Haha

Do you have ADHD? A learning disability? Or maybe you are have a family member with ADHD and/or Learning Disabilities. 

ADDITUDE is a magazine full of information! It offers strategies and support for those living with these disorders.

I’ve subscribed to this magazine for about 4 years and you will find it in my waiting room.  From the beginning, I was immediately amazed by the articles.  They address needs for all ages.

For example, in the Spring 2020 issue that arrived in my office yesterday, there are articles on

  • Helping your child likes (and maybe even Love) school
  • The benefits of mindfulness therapy
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Talking to your teen about vaping
    • AND
  • Creating a parenting plan for fostering a happy home environment while also developing helpful behavioral strategies to manage ADHD behavior and challenges

This is just a small sample of what you can read and learn in the ADDITUDE magazine. 

In addition to the magazine, there is a great website, https://www.additudemag.com/, where you can electronically subscribe to the magazine. 

The website also has additional information for individuals, family members and professionals.  One of the benefits of the website is a discussion forum where you can connect with others in the community as well as a podcast.

I highly encourage folks to subscribe to the magazine and use the website.

If you have ADDITUDE, please share your experience so others can hear about the benefits.

Have a great day!

The United Nations has declared today as Holocaust Education and Remembrance of Global Justice January 27, 2020

This historic event warrants a blog that is longer than usual.  I hope you read the entire post and leave your comments and questions.

January 27, 2020 is an important date in our World History.  It marks the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz.

We are at a crucial time in history as there are few remaining survivors of the holocaust.  This means we will have the ability to hear experiences and evidence first-hand. 

The Holocaust has been documented in many ways.  Through Nazi memos, construction plans, lists of prisoners, interviews of Nazi’s and survivors, books and movies.  There are also second-hand accounts of the stories told by the survivors to their children and family, researchers and others who were trusted to keep their experiences and these atrocious events real.  These will have to do, though there is nothing more powerful than meeting a survivor.

In my research of the Holocaust, I learned the first concentration camps began as soon as the Nazi’s took power in 1933.  The first camp was Dachau with Heinrich Himmler in charge of running the camp.  The goal was to suppress real or potential opposition to the Nazi power.  Targeted were those considered “asocial” or socially “deviant” by the Germans.  Initially included as deviants or asocial groups were political opponents, union organizers, Communists, Socialists, Social Democrats, Roma, Jehovah’s Witnesses and homosexuals.  In 1934, Jews, Romanis/Sintis, Serbs, Soviet POWs, Poles, disabled persons and clergy were also targeted.

While concentration camps were designed to torture those in opposition to Nazi’s, extermination camps had an entirely different purpose!  A note here, in the time following the war, the terms concentration camp and extermination camps were used synonymously.

When World War II began in September 1939, resistance fighters and those who helped the Jews were also captured and held in concentration camps.  While at the camps, the prisoners were starved, suffered horrible living conditions, disease.  They were over-worked, tortured and in some camps experimented on.

Did you know …

  • There were 24 main camps including Auschwitz-Birkenau, Bergen-Belsen, Dachau, Mauthausen-Gusen, Ravensbruck, Sorbibor and Treblinka?
  • There were 42,500 subcamps including:
    • 30,000 slave labor camps?
    • 1,150   ghettos?
    • 980 concentration camps?
    • 1,000 POW camps?
    • 500 brothels with sex slaves?
    • Thousands of camps specifically for exterminating the elderly, and infirm and holding prisoners before they went to extermination camps?

Statistics show…

  • 15 million – 20 million people were imprisoned and died of “natural causes”
  • 6 million Jews were exterminated
  • 11 million others were exterminated

The first liberated camp, Majdanek, was discovered on July 23, 1944.  Most of the camps were liberated in 1945.

Present day

When I think about anti-semitism/racism, or any other “ism,” I think about fear and power.  Racism has existed for thousands of years.  Racism exists because people from one group fear people from another group.  They are taught to distrust, hate and blame.  In response to fear, and because of desire for control, groups work to overpower, or even eliminate, others.

How can you do to help reduce anti-semitism and other ism’s?  Have the difficult conversations.  Explore your own beliefs about Jews and other groups that are different from you.  Ask others, who express anti-semitism what their beliefs are and where they came from.  I think an essential component of fighting anti-semitism is remember that at the core we are all human.  We have the same basic human needs.  Deconstructing the problems demonstrated around the globe today can help connect us individuals to individuals as humans rather than negative stereotypes built from fear.  We need to build tolerance and respect of our differences.  We need to challenge ourselves individually and in our larger communities.  We need to have difficult conversations.

What is 1 thing you can do today?  One thought to challenge, one way to stand up, one way to connect?

January 24th is National Compliment Day

Everyone needs to be noticed and appreciated. 

In honor of National Compliment Day, are you willing to take the challenge to give yourself at least 10 compliments to yourself?

So many of us either ignore the positive we do on a daily basis, don’t believe we add to the world (small or big) or believe we are worthy. Focus on noticing the positives you create in the day, as well as the wonderful characteristics you see! (If that is difficult, consider what someone else might say to you.) 

You can also make sure to give at least 5 compliments to others. Find a way to show appreciate. This makes us feel seen, heard and important.

Some examples include:

  • If someone gives you a gift/present – “Your card made me smile.”
  • Someone’s character – “You’re willingness to be vulnerable encourages me to do the same.”
  • A way someone has helped – “I appreciate your help.” Or “I love the way you handled (that).  It turned out great!”
  • Taking on a leadership or service role – “I appreciate all the hard work you do to make (this) successful.”
  • Time together – “thank you for making plans to get together.  That makes me feel important.”

What are your thoughts about giving compliments to yourself and others?

Can you think of other types of compliments?

National Hug Day

The power of touch

Did you know today is National Hug Day?  As soon as I found out, my immediate thought was about the power of touch.  

Think about it.  Do you have people in your life that give amazing hugs?  What makes it amazing?

For me, a hug envelops me in a persons’ warmth.  Their touch is calming and grounding.  I feel accepted, cared about and supported.  Hugs show me I am not alone.  Hugs feel empowering.

Similarly, people might offer hugs and it doesn’t quite envelope me in the same way.  Those hugs are still valuable.  They are a statement of connection.  These hugs still make me feel cared about.  They show the person has physically heard and emotionally listened.

Even quickie’s have benefit.  When someone hugs me as a greeting, it makes me feel special.  Hugs are always a statement of connection and vulnerability.  We tend to hug someone we feel safe with and around.  If we are vulnerable, we can be hurt.  So, someone giving me a quickie communicates a level of safety.  This is especially true if I know a person only hugs certain people. 

Furthermore, when someone is open to receiving a hug from me, it means I have earned their trust.  It feels just as amazing to give those feelings to others – connection, trust, showing I care, am willing to support you and you are not alone.

So…TODAY offer someone a HUG.  (Yes, get their consent before doing embracing them!)   Bring a moment of joy to someone’s day!

Tell me how you feel when getting a hug and how you feel giving one.  I think you will be amazed when you are mindful about the process.

Have a great hug filled day!

Dr. Irgang

she/her/hers

I Need Help Staying Motivated To Reach My Goals!

It’s 15 days into 2020!  How are you doing so far?

On New Year’s Eve I wrote about making resolutions and talking about switching from #resolutions to creating #goals.  It would be great to hear how that is working for you.

One of my goals this month was to celebrate my birthday all month long.  I just updated my calendar and I’m thrilled to see several days filled with friend dates.  Above all, I love connecting with others and don’t care what we are doing.  (To be fair, I have one big thing planned for this month and I’m super excited!)

Stay Motivated

I have two thoughts now that we are part way through January.  First is to share another way to set goals – both short and long-term.  Second is how do we stay motivated.

Almost 5 years ago one of my friends invited me to participate in something new – 101 things to do in 1001 days (just under 3 years for those of you who are wondering).  I thought, “Wow!  What a great idea!”  I went about creating my first list.  While I did come up with a list, implementing the list was daunting.  When I stepped back to evaluate was wasn’t working,

I realized too many of my goals were broad, such as…

  • Sell household stuff and girls stuff online.
  • Find a type of exercise I like.

I believe healthy people never stop learning and growing so why not include these goals on my list?

Examples of aspirational goals for psychological/personal growth included:

  • Exploring my identity as an entrepreneur.
  • Improve my relationship with food.

The best goals, the one’s I found myself checking off, were those that were specific such as:

  • Identify 10 types of self-care I enjoy.
  • Create a space to hang art and work from kids.
  • Get couch and dining room chairs cleaned.

So, what’s a woman to do when she finds herself stuck? 

It’s kind of an ironic place to be when I help others stay motivated and work on their goals.  Most noteworthy, I chose to live authentically!  Not just talking the talk but walking the walk. 

  • I examined my list.
  • Figured out the obstacles.
  • Problem-solved how to make the list more manageable.
  • Made sure to check my list from time to time.
  • Continued to be active in the private group my friend established where we can support and encourage each other.

It worked.  I made more progress on my list than I had been.  I bet you are wondering if I finished all 101 tasks!

No, I didn’t.  That’s okay because I wasn’t striving for #perfection, which is unattainable.  Rather, I was striving for #excellence, doing my best.  I certainly learned from the experience.  Last January, I started my second round of #101thingstodoin1001days.  This time, I took a different approach in identifying goals.  Some have carried over and some are brand new.  I’m excited to check-in with my list and see how I’m doing.

So….what do I want you to do?  Strive for excellence!  Have fun with it and let me know how it’s going for you.

Until next time, warmly

Dr. Lisa Irgang

P.S.  Should we start a 101 list here?

The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

Currently, there are three styles of divorce available.

Traditionally, the divorce process is adversarial and the parties and their attorneys are pitted against each other.  The process is monitored by a Judge and often there are threats of “letting the court decide” an issue if the parties cannot come to an agreement.  Another option would be to use a mediator.  With this option, the couple meets with a mediator to negotiate and compromise the various issues that need to be addressed to get a divorce.  The benefit of this option is that the parties work to come to mutually agreeable decisions.

The negative side of this process, is that a mediator is neutral and cannot advise either party about what is most beneficial for their situation.  When working with a Collaborative Divorce team, you will have the benefit of working with a team of trained professionals who are committed to helping support and assist you through this life transition.  Each team members brings various areas of expertise to the table.  In negotiating as a team, having both attorneys present to advise in the moment.  The Coach works with all team members to improve communication, negotiation and problem-solving skills.  We help minimize the hostility and conflict in the room and between the parties.

If you find yourself needing to seek a divorce, I hope you consider Collaborative Divorce.

10 TIps to Managing Holiday Stress - Relationship Solution Center

10 Tips for Managing Your Stress and Depression During the Holidays

  1. 1.Recognize what triggers stress for you and how you handle stress.
  2. If changes are necessary, change one behavior at a time.
  3. Identify how you would like to honor yourself, friends & family during the season.
  4. Prioritize and organize.
  5. Let others help plan and organize activities.
  6. Set a spending limit.
  7. Take care of yourself.
  8. Considering taking care of others by volunteering.
  9. Curb your drinking since it increases feelings of depression.
  10. Seek support from friends and family if needed.

If these tips do not work for you, or if you feel that your depression and/or anxiety is not just related to the holiday season, please contact a local professional for assistance.